I’m back in Portland. I’m working on finishing the to do list I wrote on my flight. Now I just gotta find my car. (I think it’s at Stark & 9th?).
This time returning to Portland felt good. Always before, a sense of nervousness (i.e. huge knots in my stomach) was my welcome back, but yesterday (maybe I was just tired), I felt like a Portlander for the first time.
Drive-By Truckers – “Perfect Timing”
So, I’m at Princeton. Going through the Pizarnik collection. It is a good time. I wish I had more time to spend on it, but whatever, that’s life.
Anyways, page 4 of her July 64-March 68 journal, the July 21 entry….part of it reads:
Deseo que no me escriba para sufrir por su silencio. Mejor dicho: para que sepa que sufro por su silencio.
translation
I wish I did not write to suffer for her silence. Better said: so that I suffer for her silence.
but, shh.. technically I can’t publish that without expressed written permission, so don’t tell anyone. I just thought it pertinent to the way my relationships (yes, all of the them) have been going
Filed under: School, The New Deal, Trips | Tags: family drama, New York, thesis hell
I am in New York now. I finally made it. But I don’t want to write. As much as I love it, I really can’t bring myself to write anymore — atleast in a biographical sense and it seems pointless to write about books or movies or music when in reality I don’t really spend much time dealing with those subjects.
I will try though. I will.
But first, I’ve got to get better myself. I have got to figure out how to care for myself before I work on caring for those around me. See, I don’t need therapy after all!
